The memory of the Start..

You know when you have so much to drink, you have no idea in the world what happened the night before? and one day a few months later u’re in the shower or brushing your teeth or stuck in traffic and you suddenly have a wash back of memories? You finally remember!! Yay… or Nay..

I don’t remember much of my 21st, at all really. I’m normally a responsible drinker (obviously until that night). I couldn’t figure out why I let myself drink that much.

I was just putting on eyeliner, getting ready for the night and I had this wave of a flashback where you stand straight and stare  into nothing as if you’re watching the memory play out in front of you. Well it was of my 21st. 20 minutes after I turned 21 in America, yet It had been my birthday for 12 hrs back in Australia. And I hadn’t heard from him. To be honest when he called that night, it was the only time he called me on my whole 10 day holiday. even when I was stranded with no money because i left all my credit cards and money at home.

He called, he said happy birthday. I said thankyou, mentioned that it already been all day where he was, why didn’t he call me earlier or send a message. He said he hadn’t wanted to ruin my night. He said he was moving out. I should have been elated as thats what we both wanted for so long. Said he would be gone by the time i got back.

So i came home from America, elated and full of esteem and determined for a new journey on life. I came home, my friends all raced around and i told them stories over wine and presents and a bbq.

But then he walked through the front door. He hadn’t moved out. I ignored him, all night till he cornered me. Took all my new found energy away in a single second. Why couldn’t he have movd out then. before I got back. It would have made everything so much easier. And i was under the impression I would come home to my own house..

Oh well…

Life feels good now. I love it.