Boys Boys Boys

I love the way life works. I decided to listen to my earlier lesson, and not bother contacting anyone. I only need me and time for myself. I went to sleep. At 3.30 in the spring afternoon, and snuggled into my body pillow, wrapping it around me and hugging me warm. I had many calls/texts/notifications. And this is why I love the way life works, I did not hear nor stir for any of these noises. Except for two. One at 5pm, from D. He had gotten credit just to call me. We laughed and joked, made plans for tomorrow and shared mutual affection of our love of music and ambitions to go to Big Day Out. He invited me to go with him. Awww.

The Second was from.. umm.. what can I call him*, I know He’s been mentioned prior. A dear lad I have had a crush on for, gosh, a while actually. But never ever and still haven’t acted on it. We are friends through friends, have known eachother about two years, and after I developed little bits of excitement when around said lad, I discover he has also now become one of Evils* close friends. Well he had, until he started coming to visit me every week or so for beers and a catchup. He came around tonight, he bought a friend thank god, tension would have been intense. I couldn’t let him stay longer than 20 minutes as My Gal had already cracked the shits upon coming home tonight to guests.

My phone gets disconnected tomorrow. I have a new number. So many ppl aren’t getting it. Then hopefully I get a job overseas, and most will never hear from me again. This thought alone feels me with rush and release. I’m not running away. I’m growing up. Cutting the threads of habit that tie me to the souls that drag me down. I will be fine. I will return in 5 years for a visit. To see my siblings who some would be adults by then. To see my Family who some would be dead by then. I shall return sophisticated but still Daggy me,  Grown up whilst still mischevious, Well presented but still unfashionly . With a few houses under my belt, A rewarding and executive career and a charming Husband. The first of Two anyway. I can’t change that way about me Hopefully he will be what I’ve wanted since I was 5 and fascinated with the combination of dialects in languages. A French Canadian. Not rude unlike the French, but a Canadian who can ravish me in the cool of the night with words of Latin like,  poetry.

So tomorrow night, a date over Pints with D, Thursday night Fisherman is taking me out for dinner. God Bless 6am starts and 8am flights. Not. I am not tired despite having to arise in 5 hours. perhaps I should not have slept, oh wait, there’s a yawn. I love my life. I love medication for making me love life. If I forget to take it, I am pounded by headaches, aches, sadness, anger, tears, fears and a complete fucked up way of thinking. Back to my known reality I suppose. And when I take it again, I vomit for hours, am dizzy and cloudy, until the next day, when everyday just gets better and better, so good, i get so happy i forget to take it and the cycle starts all over. I must refill my script before I fly out. And perhaps get the pill if I plan on having sex again.

UPDATE: Just as I pressed Publish on this post, Fisherman text to say he just got credit to talk to me.  I’m glad I’m helping Telstra make lots of money out of recharge cards for me.