After Love

There is no magic any more, We meet as other people do, You work no miracle for me Nor I for you. You were the wind and I the sea— There is no splendor any more, I have grown listless as the pool Beside the shore. But though the pool is safe from storm And from the tide has found surcease, It grows more bitter than the sea, For all its peace.

Sweet About Me

A Wedding Song I Shall Incorporate into one of my two weddings.

One of My All Time Favourite Movies

If Only Craziness were true

Scripts of Journals Past…

A Page from one of my journals. (My Age: 14-15)

I did a quiz on the net on ‘The Initials of the Love of your life’. Answer: ‘KW’. So I went through one of my many handwritten journals over the years, searching for this mysterious man.. Actually, just occurred to me, could also be a female? Or my recent interest (And the rest of the world.) A hermaphrodite? Ohh how much fun.. Come to me Lady Gaga…

Any who, I took a few shots from my pda of the said Diary/Scrapbook. I will try to elaborate about each pic as much as possible. Perhaps one day I may even scan each page of my diaries in.. Oh how much fun..

A Collection of Text Messages

Reading the entries on this page, from my writing and own mind back in 2002, I’m amazed at the audacity of the way media portrays such explicit sexuality to young women. Last night flipping through pages I was dumbstuck and often felt embarassed, not from  my own thoughts, from the excerpts of the print media. Disgusting to say the truth, no wonder we all enjoy sex wayyyyy too much starting wayyy to young.

 

Poetry written and coloured by chalk..

Fighting like the Siamese Do!

Life is what you make it. It’s pretty cool to learn new experiences and emotions and opportunities in every aspects of all individuals, make your own choices. I came across a beautiful statment today…

circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but the instruments of the wise.

I love it. I’m enjoying everything at the moment. See family finally after so long, enjoying and putting an effort in & falling in love again with my job. My Fish of over two years died last night. He was beautiful, but he lived a long life. He was big. RIP Davis.

Enjoy life everyone!!

An Unattainable Dream

I was on a missionary deployment in Iraq. Setting up orphanages, helping women displaced, trying to shelter most from the constant gunfire and bombs. I was in mega war zone. But I felt strangely comfortable. Someone was with me, I just didn’t know who.

Next thing I know, there’s hundreds of us running across the arid dusty desert. Running desperately. Shots being fired behind us. Kids struggling, women falling over. We were running to a convoy of a train thing. Like ones similar to zoo’s that take people around the parks. Expect the carriages were mere square concrete blocks on wheels, tied together by rope with donkeys at the beginning. The convoy was moving. Everyone had to jump on and hold on for life as it rumbled away. I could see there were only 10 carriages left. I threw children on board, lifted the mothers up and turned around. I saw him. He ordered me to jump on now. Before the last one past. He turned around and continued to yell something into the distance. A dust storm blew up and I lost sight of him. The last carriage came and went. I was standing alone feeling relief we had managed to save so many lives.

A few minutes later, he walked into vision from the dust. He questioned why I hadn’t jumped on board when I had the chance. I said “I couldn’t leave you; I will always wait for you”. He smiled and kissed me. We walked towards the direction of safety arm in arm, feeling more secure than we ever had.

Borrowed Poems

Forget me yes

I curse the day I fell in love…
Cause since that day
I’ve been so sad…
I didn’t know how far I was…
How far I was…
From what I thought…
You killed my soul…
You destroyed me all…
You broke my heart…
And split my blood…
I couldn’t fly
My wings were torn…
I was in jail
I couldn’t scape…
You killed my heart.. myself…my life…
Give it back to me… and go away…

Thankyou to Highart777

Dido – Slide

Even on a day like this
When you’re crawling on the floor
Reaching for the phone to ring anyone who knows you anymore.
It’s alright to make mistakes
You’re only human
Inside everybody’s hiding something.
Staring at the same four walls
Have you tried to help yourself
The rings around your eyes
They don’t hide that you need to get some rest
Take time to catch your breath and choose your moment

Don’t slide

Even at a time like this
When the morning seems so far
Think that pain belongs to you but it’s happened to us all
You brought this on yourself
And it’s high time you left it there
Lie here and rest your head
And dream of something else instead

Mark Ronson

“Only One I Know”
(feat. Robbie Williams)

The only one I know, has come to take me away
The only one I know, is mine when she stitches me
Everyone has been burned before, everybody knows the pain
The only one I see, has found an aching in me
The only one I see, has turned her tongue into me
The only one I know, never cries, never open her eyes
The only one I know, wide awake and then shes away
The only one I see, is mine when she walks down our street
The only one I see, has carved her way in to me

“Stop Me”
(feat. Daniel Merriweather)

Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you’ve
Heard this one before
Nothing’s changed
I still love you, oh, I still love you
…Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to, my love
Who said I’d lied because I never ? I never !
Oh, so I drank one
It became four
And when I fell on the floor …
…I drank more
Nothing’s changed
I still love you, oh, I still love you
…Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to, my love
Set free me why don’t you
get out my life why don’t you
Cause you don’t really love me, no
You just keep my hanging on

“Amy”
(feat. Kenna)

I don’t know why I let go
I want to be your friend
Flowers grow through my window and I love you again
Oh I love you oh
When you laid me down into your beautiful garden
Flowers in the love of my arms
Its God shining through to me I guess
Do you still love me
I go to the places where we used to
I feel sad
I am out here looking for you
Sometimes I pretend
Oh I miss you oh
Is God playing evil tricks on me?

Words That Make me Smile..

 

I Love my friends. All and everyone of them. I am very lucky to have such love in my life. I have had so many texts, emails, messagebanks and convos of support. Too many to put on here. Not to mention the hugs!!  But I thought I would share a few things I have access to atm. Things that made me smile..

 

Sent: Monday, 8 June 2009 10:58 AM
Subject: @ ur blog

So I haven’t really commented much about ur blog, but u said in there about seeing some of the old chad back.
 
So lets work on getting the old Becky back
 
There used to be so much energy in ur eyes i really don’t know how to explain it cause i’m not as good with words as you seem to be .
It was like looking into the eyes of a kid a christmas..  I think thats the best way to describe it
Full of life, energy, happiness and excitement. I saw a little bit of it when we went dinner a few months ago, but i haven’t seen it often for along time.
 
Sorry if that sounds depressing, but I just wanna see that fire for life back in your eyes and will help any way i can

 

Sent: Randomly

i read the first full page, then clicked read older posts. got to about 9 june i think. sounds like your so much better off without the asshole in ur life!

 

Sent: Randomly

I see alot of myself in you and your experiences too. so dont ever feel alone… ive been through some things that u mentioned and some of the thoughts that youve had. even the ones about males and what they’re all about. i too think women can be exactly the same

 

Sent: Randomly

i love the thoughts u had about putting the dead mice in his car… some of the old becky still remains

 

Sent: Randomly

u had a slight evil…no, thats not the right word… but u had a lil something about u… u wanted it your way…sorta cunning…yeh thats more like it i think…

Intimacy

She lay aside him, curled up in unquestionable contentment.
He caresses the curve of her spine with the delicate touch of his fingers.
Feeling every shudder of ecstasy pulsing through her body.
Listening to the pant of her breath
Watching her in bewilderment.
He relishes the taste of her on his hands, breathing in her scent still lingering on his lips.
They lay curled to each other, energy connected and overflowing.
Basking in the radiance of sexual emotion.
Wondering if it will ever happen again.

Don’t annoy me, I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.

REVENGE LADY’S RULES

1. Get mad….then get even.  It’s justice, plain and simple.

2. Revenge is healthy. Don’t listen to those mealymouths who tell you otherwise.  You’re teaching people to behave better.  At the same time you’re getting icky poisonous feelings out of your system once and for all.  What could be healthier?

3. Remember, Karma is a good thing.  Be sure everyone gets his or hers…in this lifetime. You’re helping to bring the scales of justice back into balance and restore order to the universe.

4. Revenge is excellent self-therapy. It’s far cheaper than a therapist and much healthier than pigging out on a box of donuts.

5. The punishment should always fit the crime. In other words, don’t go nuclear over something trivial.

6. Always aim your revenge where it hurts the most.  Go right for the jugular.

7. Let your creativity blossom.  Don’t go for cliches like slashing tires. Yawn. Be original. Enjoy yourself. Give your mark an experience they’ll never ever forget.

8. Don’t break the law.

9. If you have to do something you’re not proud of, be sure to cover your tracks well.

10. Have fun. If you can end up laughing at the jerk who wronged you, you’re well on your way to being over it.

11. Once revenge is consummated, move on. It’s over.

- Dammit!! Why didn’t I see this a few weeks ago!! Prob would have helped alot.. Oh well.. I’m too happy for revenge now. Moment has passed. I’m so pleased with myself. I’M FUCKING SINGLE!! Does anyone have any idea how awesome that is? How much fun I am going to (or already) have?